Sunday, November 29, 2009

I am who I am

A grown up cocktail beverage down.........

I am fast approaching the anniversary of my mothers death. December 04, 1992 at 11:43 pm. I was 17, barely.
As I reflect on her life, my life and my family life I am filled with every emotion. My family was strong. I was raised with morales, values and God. I have not always followed His path, but I always go to Him.

I am not perfect, for no human is. I have hurt as I have been hurt.
I was 17, caring for my dying mother. Perhaps sharing what I have kept inside will help heal me or help you. Cancer is a horrible evil death. From the moment she had a fever until the huge lumps protruding from her belly and side. From her not being able to make it to the restroom and me grabbing the closest thing for her to go in.......

From her weighing 160 to 98 pounds. Her looking up and telling me she loved me. After the surgery to remove her right lung, as she lay in her bed, I laid with her....she grabbed my hand and every thought, word and feeling was in that touch. One month later she passed.

It is really sad because at 17 years old with a pretty picture perfect life up until that point one never thinks this horrible thing would happen.

My mother gave me life, she gave me love, comfort, wisdom, morales, values that I will now pass to my kids.
I  will always share my mother, their mamaw with them. It is my duty to make sure she lives on.

With this said..... Life is short. My mom was 39 when she passed. Hug and love your family and friends.
This is my thankful blog.....thankful that God ave me the mother he did.

2 comments:

Karissa said...

Your such a strong and amazing person Nic! Your mother sounds wonderful as well. Thank you for sharing!!

XOXO

Brandy said...

Thank you for posting! I know it must have been difficult for you to bring up such hard memories of your mother's illness. CANCER is such a terrible disease. You have honored her in so many ways. Naming your business in remembrance of her and carrying on her name to your children. I will be praying for you during this hard time.